Short Jokes about Jewish mother |
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
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A Jewish mother walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my Buibaleh" she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your mother, Tataleh! And come right back home on the bus, Schein Kindaleh. Your Mommy loves you a lot, my Ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him. "So what did my Pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I learned my name is Jerry."
Mrs. Fisher comes to visit her son Jacob for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Rachel. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Jacob's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Jacob and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Jacob volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Rachel and I are just roommates.' About a week later, Rachel came to Jacob saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure.' So he sat down and wrote an email: 'Dear Mama, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Jacob' Several days later, Jacob received a response email from his Mama which read: 'Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Rachel, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now. Love, Mama' Moral: Never lie to your Mama . . . especially if she's Jewish.Seen in the University of Texas student newspaper: Sweet, little old Jewish lady wishes to correspond with UT undergraduate. Prefers six-foot male with brown eyes answering to initials: J.D.B.
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